A year in review (Installment 1)

I received an email this morning telling me that even though I had not posted in a *cough* year *cough*, I still had many, many people visiting my site! While this made me feel incredibly guilty, it may have just been the kick in the backside I needed to get me posting again!

So – from where we last left it. My last post was in November 2013, it is now DECEMBER 2014, and I am pleased to say that I am NOT back to 100kgs 🙂 YAY!!!  Let me give you a brief rundown of my life over the past year.

December 2013 – December marked a milestone birthday for my Better Half. BH’s birthday is on the 23rd of December, so Xmas time is a little bit of a nightmare in our family. We decided to pack up and head to Byron Bay to enjoy our few weeks off work. Remember my sister-in-law? We she lives on the Gold Coast in Queensland and came down to our holiday house for a visit.

When she pulled up, I instantly felt self conscious. Being on holidays, and wanting to show off my new size 12 body, I had bravely slid myself into a pair of (very) short shorts, and a loose top to balance out the look. I suddenly felt like I was treating BH’s family to a bit too much of this jelly, and spent the rest of lunch trying to pull down the hems.

My niece and nephew were quite generous with their compliments and couldn’t stop saying how skinny BH and I were. I love kids 😀

While walking down the main street of Byron, I kept a close eye on anyone checking out my cellulite and thunder thighs, but thankfully no-one threw anything at me, so apparently I wasn’t being completely indecent.

After a delicious lunch of fish (sans chips), we decided to take a dip in the ocean. I put on my size 20 tankini (remember, it had been nearly a year since I had been swimming) and ran into the surf.    Then “this” happened.    I came up out of the water without my bikini bottoms.    There were screams, tears and lots of embarrassment.    All from me.

While I was quite pleased with whittling my weigh (geddit?) down into 60’s territory, I was NOT prepared to pose for Playboy just yet.  Sometimes I wish I was one of those girls who could just calmly bend down, pick up my pants and walk back to my towel like nothing happened. Unfortunately I am a bit of the “cause-a-scene-and-scream-until-the-entire-beach-is-crowding-around” type of girl.

BH promptly took me off to the closest surf shop to replace the missing bottoms. Of COURSE they only had size 14, or size 10.    I was determined not to go back up to a 14, and if it meant that I would be cut in half at the waist all summer, but not flashing innocent men, women and children, that was the way I had to go.  Then a funny thing happened…. The size 10 bottoms not only fit me, but they LOOKED AMAZING! I was riding high, and ready to get back out on that beach – but not until all of the perverts had moved on for the day.

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January 2014 – Back to work, back to reality. Urgh. But I am proud to say that I was still 100% on the diet. I had not deviated once during the break, and I was very proud of myself. We had a new manager join the company, and we posted a Facebook post welcoming him… And 1 MILLION people (or a lot anyhow) commented on how amazing I looked! WOW! I had lost over 30 kgs by this point, but it seemed that I needed to have some time off work for people to notice. And they did! 🙂

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February 2014 – February was MY TIME TO SHINE! It was my milestone birthday (a lady doesn’t reveal her age), and I had purchased a size 10 dress during the boxing day sales to wear for my birthday dinner, which I was unable to try on at the time, so fingers and toes were crossed (and thoughts, prayers and threats were being hurled at Nancy Ganz) that it would fit me. On the night it actually ended up being a little big for me, but still looked amazing! I paired it with a size 8 (SIZE 8!!) leather jacket from Myer.  My birthday present from BH was a beautiful Tiffany Key which I had been eyeing for a looooooooong time, and it really made my outfit! ❤


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March 2014 – So after my birthday blowout (sorry I didn’t mention it in February, I just didn’t want to tarnish my birthday month with my dirty, dirty ways), where I ate pork belly for dinner, chocolate mousse for desert and a “small” glass of champagne, I found it very hard to get back on the horse (please see April). I was really struggling, and now that I had reached the top of the 50’s, I found I really lacked the motivation to get going again.

People had started telling me that I was getting “too skinny”. TOO SKINNY??? WTF? I would have pushed my sister off a cliff a few months ago to hear someone whisper those sexy words in my chubby ears! But now? Now it was just messing with my head.

I knew that the bones protruding from my chest weren’t cute, and that people were commenting on how I’d lost my bum, but I was on my way to goal! I hadn’t even reached it yet! Should I keep going and hit that magical, elusive 47kgs, or should I stop now?

Does she eat her way back into a size 20, or does she persist and become the next Victoria’s Anorexic Angel? Stay tuned! 

April 2014 – After a very stressful few weeks at work, and to be honest, not eating much at all, I started to get a little low. And not in the cool Flo Rider way. No apple bottom jeans for this skinny girl.    I wasn’t losing any weight and I was struggling to fit in with this new “Skinny Girl” image.  I had been large for so long, I didn’t know who I was. And while that sounds very melodramatic, it was the truth and I was struggling to step out of the sumo suit.

To get me out of my #SkinnyGirlProblems, BH took me horse riding which had been one of my goals from the very beginning. At 100kgs, I thought it would be pretty damn cruel to jump on a poor horsey and bend him in half. So I decided that when I had reached the 50s, I would treat myself to a trail ride. Which is exactly what we did 🙂

I was so excited, and climbed on “Pot Luck*” nervously. I didn’t want to be the first person at the riding school to flatten the majestic beast, and it took me a long time to work up my confidence. Turns out that I had nothing to worry about – there was a fat little boy who was well over 100 kgs and while he did have trouble climbing onto the horse, unfortunately he was fine once he was up there. I say unfortunately not because I am a schadenfreude-esque bitch, but because I really felt as though we missed an amazing opportunity for something hilarious to happen. I was highly disappointed that he successfully trotted off into the hills, but I did keep a close eye on him throughout the ride.

*NOT Pot Belly!

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May 2014 – Mothers Day! So every year (well, I’ve done it twice now), I buy my mummy a ticket to the 8km Mothers Day Classic in Sydney. It is a great event, and mum and I run when we can (read: we run when we aren’t puffed out, or buying another coffee). My Nanny and Granddad joined us this year which was great fun, and we all went for lunch afterwards. I had hot chips, because I could. And yes, I did get a ‘mother lecture’.

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